What the fuckidy fuck fuck fuck!!! So may moments here that were coo coo for cocoa puffs. (Not YOU obviously - the freaky lady that was injecting her asinine spirit into your life). The entire time I was reading this all I was thinking was, Matt is going to be appreciate that Amber did this. I knew he would love it and I knew he would be so happy. You always have his back, you always take care of him and you always put him in the forefront. Protecting him from spectators, medical professionals, and all other whackados that present themselves in your life. You are such an amazing caregiver. Caretaker. Whatever the fuck you are. You donut so well. I definitely want you on my side if I need an advocate. And. I’m sorry this takes a toll on you. All the giving is hard. It seems to be never ending and it must be fatiguing to continually have to fight for what (who) you love.
thank you G. love you. and it’s “caregiver” “caretaker” is someone who takes care of a building. but people mix them up all the time, even medical professionals. so much that i have a piece in my drafts about it lol
"You know, he could have more strokes. The vaccine is causing people to have strokes," is psychotic, almost want to reach out and grab them just to provide the shocking realization that there isn't any glass there because you're a person and not something on a screen, that this isn’t another episode of their stories
so true. i always feel guilty for being antisocial. i want to accept everyone’s humanity. but there is something deeply antisocial about the way they go about it too.
I am not in a good head space right now. I've been caring for my father, diagnosed back in September w/ glioblastoma, and the last 3 weeks his condition has progressed from very bad to "well, this is the end, isn't it?". I've had stupid but innocent interactions & questions from mostly well-intentioned people in my life. But, if one of my maga cousins tried to interject their opinions on vaccines & suggested my dad is dying because he got vaccinated during COVID (because my mom was immunocompromised after her own ongoing battle with thyroid cancer), I would have swung on him (and probably got my ass beat lol). Sorry for the hypothetical, but they have tried to walk down that path to my parents before (when I wasn't around to tell them to fuck off) & Amber's post just made me think of what I would have done in a similar situation. She nailed it, correctly. Unfortunately, people like this random on the street will continue to not mind their own buisness because of what you are exactly alluding to: they think the real world is twitter & they are masquerading as a concerned neighbor to schizno-post about vaccines to whoever passes by.
and lars, i’m sorry to hear that you’re holding all of that. it sucks and it’s heavy and you shouldn’t have to hold it by yourself. i hope you have people you love and who love you that are helping. it does feel good to image punching someone in the face though sometimes. i’ve considered joining the boxing gym near me.
You captured something really specific about how it feels to be protective of someone while also running on empty yourself. And, the video game line made me LOL.
Love your writings. Vulnerable and raw and clear-eyed. Matt has been one of the key influences of my intellectual growth, I replay his cushvlogs semi regularly when I need to better articulate my own thoughts
On one hand I give overly helpful strangers the benefit of the doubt, but I do find that more and more people seem comfortable saying “oh you have a disability? Cool, now hear my pitch deck for how I’m going to avoid being like you”
"y'know, I heard that not believing in vaccines is causing people to lose empathy and give unsolicited advice to strangers on the street. Bad parenting can also cause this. Give my best to yours."
I'm not usually one to advocate breaking eyes 4 eyes or arms/legs for strokes, but it occurs to me that different salves solve different problems, and not everyone needs the same medicine. Sometimes tougher "love" is the sharp embrace of an ice-plunge that can awaken a sleeper?
Although, I'm also reminded - as my partner highlighted to me last night, discussing something different but also similar - that we can't fix the whole world with just our own two hands. You cant heal a random stranger (or even a distant awkward relative by inviting them to your wedding) by practicing radical empathy at them. Some equations wont solve, just yet. Sometimes you need to protect your own life/energy/time/aura/what-have-you because of the opportunity cost, and you can do better, higher-chance-of-really-helping things by spending your precious, finite cache on folks more intimately in your orbit.
It matters that you're thinking about it, that you Cared about Stranger at all. Can't have a best day every day. Thanks for sharing.
What the fuckidy fuck fuck fuck!!! So may moments here that were coo coo for cocoa puffs. (Not YOU obviously - the freaky lady that was injecting her asinine spirit into your life). The entire time I was reading this all I was thinking was, Matt is going to be appreciate that Amber did this. I knew he would love it and I knew he would be so happy. You always have his back, you always take care of him and you always put him in the forefront. Protecting him from spectators, medical professionals, and all other whackados that present themselves in your life. You are such an amazing caregiver. Caretaker. Whatever the fuck you are. You donut so well. I definitely want you on my side if I need an advocate. And. I’m sorry this takes a toll on you. All the giving is hard. It seems to be never ending and it must be fatiguing to continually have to fight for what (who) you love.
thank you G. love you. and it’s “caregiver” “caretaker” is someone who takes care of a building. but people mix them up all the time, even medical professionals. so much that i have a piece in my drafts about it lol
Well, you do take care of your building too. So I would argue you’re both! :-)
"You know, he could have more strokes. The vaccine is causing people to have strokes," is psychotic, almost want to reach out and grab them just to provide the shocking realization that there isn't any glass there because you're a person and not something on a screen, that this isn’t another episode of their stories
so true. i always feel guilty for being antisocial. i want to accept everyone’s humanity. but there is something deeply antisocial about the way they go about it too.
I am not in a good head space right now. I've been caring for my father, diagnosed back in September w/ glioblastoma, and the last 3 weeks his condition has progressed from very bad to "well, this is the end, isn't it?". I've had stupid but innocent interactions & questions from mostly well-intentioned people in my life. But, if one of my maga cousins tried to interject their opinions on vaccines & suggested my dad is dying because he got vaccinated during COVID (because my mom was immunocompromised after her own ongoing battle with thyroid cancer), I would have swung on him (and probably got my ass beat lol). Sorry for the hypothetical, but they have tried to walk down that path to my parents before (when I wasn't around to tell them to fuck off) & Amber's post just made me think of what I would have done in a similar situation. She nailed it, correctly. Unfortunately, people like this random on the street will continue to not mind their own buisness because of what you are exactly alluding to: they think the real world is twitter & they are masquerading as a concerned neighbor to schizno-post about vaccines to whoever passes by.
and lars, i’m sorry to hear that you’re holding all of that. it sucks and it’s heavy and you shouldn’t have to hold it by yourself. i hope you have people you love and who love you that are helping. it does feel good to image punching someone in the face though sometimes. i’ve considered joining the boxing gym near me.
You captured something really specific about how it feels to be protective of someone while also running on empty yourself. And, the video game line made me LOL.
thank you. it really truly do be like that!
Love your writings. Vulnerable and raw and clear-eyed. Matt has been one of the key influences of my intellectual growth, I replay his cushvlogs semi regularly when I need to better articulate my own thoughts
On one hand I give overly helpful strangers the benefit of the doubt, but I do find that more and more people seem comfortable saying “oh you have a disability? Cool, now hear my pitch deck for how I’m going to avoid being like you”
"y'know, I heard that not believing in vaccines is causing people to lose empathy and give unsolicited advice to strangers on the street. Bad parenting can also cause this. Give my best to yours."
I'm not usually one to advocate breaking eyes 4 eyes or arms/legs for strokes, but it occurs to me that different salves solve different problems, and not everyone needs the same medicine. Sometimes tougher "love" is the sharp embrace of an ice-plunge that can awaken a sleeper?
Although, I'm also reminded - as my partner highlighted to me last night, discussing something different but also similar - that we can't fix the whole world with just our own two hands. You cant heal a random stranger (or even a distant awkward relative by inviting them to your wedding) by practicing radical empathy at them. Some equations wont solve, just yet. Sometimes you need to protect your own life/energy/time/aura/what-have-you because of the opportunity cost, and you can do better, higher-chance-of-really-helping things by spending your precious, finite cache on folks more intimately in your orbit.
It matters that you're thinking about it, that you Cared about Stranger at all. Can't have a best day every day. Thanks for sharing.