A very touching and poignant piece. Provides some undeserved but very appreciated closure and perspective as a fan of Matt. The dichotomy between recovery and progress is one of those things that might never occur to somebody unless they're facing it first hand. I will definitely bear this in mind when interacting with someone facing a similar challenge. Wishing you guys all the success in your continued progress.
Totally would not occur to me unless I was going through it! I hope the piece didn’t come off as scolding. Just insight into what I notice when people talk and how I think about all this.
Not remotely scolding. A lot of folks care about Matt, but it's important to keep in mind that the Matt we hear and see on our screens is only a fraction of the man. He's a real dude with a real family and real friends, who often see what is written, even with good intent. For all he has provided the cush heads, we aren't stakeholders. We are owed nothing.
Also: "Matt told me recently that the stroke is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, because it forced him to stop anxiously searching for answers."
I identify with this line of thinking so much. I have struggled with anxiety and neuroticism most of my life, usually about things that are external and/or entirely out of my control. I have found that nothing grounds me quite as effectively as a genuine personal crisis. A true silver lining.
Thank you for posting this. My brother has a chronic disability that manifested in adulthood and I understand this distinction perfectly but could never quite articulate it. Very beautifully said.
I also want to add that I had the pleasure of meeting Matt back in 2018 after a Street Fight show in Columbus. My friend and I saw him standing by himself so we figured we'd buy him a beer since we were huge fans. For some reason, he came back to our table and ended up hanging out with us for over three hours. We talked a lot about the politics of the day and enjoyed him going off in trademark style, but what struck me was how much he wanted to know about who we were and our lives. I'd like to think he enjoyed imparting his wisdom on us as we were in our 20s at the time.
He was exactly as cool, kind and thoughtful as his content would have you believe to two people he had no reason to go out of his way for. It remains far and away the best experience I've ever had with any kind of "famous" person. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.
Sure was. Very happy to hear he remembers and no embarrassment is necessary lol. It was a blast! Plus, with each passing day, I become more of a “fall asleep after hitting a blunt” guy so… solidarity with Matt there.
Please be kind to your landlord he has generously allowed you to pay his mortgage and is bravely only collecting only a small profit on top of that please show him some respect he is an entrepreneur
Fantastic writing, and an incredibly heartfelt insight into struggles I'm sure a ton of people have asked you about, as you say in the piece. I appreciate this so much as a fan of Matt's who's only liked him more since he met you! Thanks for sharing a bit of your world with us parasocially invested in your husband, and I'm excited to see what you three do next!! :)
"Sometimes he partied like a little kid covering his eyes in a scary movie, so afraid to look that he misses the plot."
This is so fucking real I feel like color entered my B&W life. This rings very true. You try to escape because being present with the pain of our existence is awful and terrifying and lonely at times.
This piece made me cry. I'm so proud of this guy I've never met. He makes me want to keep going when right now in my own life all I feel is despair.
Never met Matt but we did celebrate Bernie’s Nevada victory just feet away from one another. Thank you for this piece, Amber. I wish you three many happy days ahead. I wanted to share this nugget of wisdom from the man himself that I transcribed from the pod and which hangs on my wall:
“I think that [love] is recognition... It's recognition and understanding that others are in a very fundamental way, in a felt - not reasoned - way, you. And that there is no pleasure you can take at the expense of another, that doesn't harm you as well, because there is no genuine separation. And so operating out of love means not having to fight really the urge to selfishly hoard enjoyment because you can't actually enjoy it, because you know whose expense it's at and that you feel a need to remedy it because you cannot delude yourself into imagining that there is some enduring separation that can allow you to hoard anything.”
Loved reading this piece and am so impressed with Matt’s progress. Incredible!
This really resonated with me since my hubs is fresh into a new chronic nerve pain diagnosis. I find myself wishing to go back in time, but it’s a waste of energy. It’s amazing how injury and “chronic” changes really shift your perspective and realign priorities. I’ll be keeping your words at hand- “the best is yet to come” 🙌
We love Matt's Strokes of Genius over here! The podcasts, vlogs, rants, jokes, explanations, and contemplations have all been very inspirational over the years, but the poems are fantastic! Such a joy to hear!
Several years ago my wife and I were hit by a car while walking on the sidewalk. She suffered a debilitating TBI and aneurism. I can relate to every word of this.
Life moves forward no matter what and it's beautiful.
Really beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing. Have always appreciated Matt's brain in all phases of his life. Being on a similar timeline with anxiety, physical limitations, and fatherhood (2 girls 18 months apart both under 3.5) it's really heartening to see the two of you move through this with such grace. Cheers to progress!
Very amazing stuff, you both have such wonderful minds, Matt once changed my life and the way I think with the vlogs. You are helping me do the same thing again, slowing down not everything I think about has to be so big, so existential. I need to look around, look at the ones I love. Thank you both for being so open. We need more of that we need more honesty and vulnerability from eachother. We need more love. Thank you Amber.
You were able to capture something about his journey that I did not previously understand. He is such a blessing in this world, and it is a delight to know that each day continues to put that blessing into the world.
The discomfort with a friendly landlord is all too familiar to me as well, given some current circumstances.
A very touching and poignant piece. Provides some undeserved but very appreciated closure and perspective as a fan of Matt. The dichotomy between recovery and progress is one of those things that might never occur to somebody unless they're facing it first hand. I will definitely bear this in mind when interacting with someone facing a similar challenge. Wishing you guys all the success in your continued progress.
Totally would not occur to me unless I was going through it! I hope the piece didn’t come off as scolding. Just insight into what I notice when people talk and how I think about all this.
Not remotely scolding. A lot of folks care about Matt, but it's important to keep in mind that the Matt we hear and see on our screens is only a fraction of the man. He's a real dude with a real family and real friends, who often see what is written, even with good intent. For all he has provided the cush heads, we aren't stakeholders. We are owed nothing.
Also: "Matt told me recently that the stroke is the best thing that’s ever happened to him, because it forced him to stop anxiously searching for answers."
I identify with this line of thinking so much. I have struggled with anxiety and neuroticism most of my life, usually about things that are external and/or entirely out of my control. I have found that nothing grounds me quite as effectively as a genuine personal crisis. A true silver lining.
It really does slow down time in a way nothing else can ❤️
Thank you for posting this. My brother has a chronic disability that manifested in adulthood and I understand this distinction perfectly but could never quite articulate it. Very beautifully said.
I also want to add that I had the pleasure of meeting Matt back in 2018 after a Street Fight show in Columbus. My friend and I saw him standing by himself so we figured we'd buy him a beer since we were huge fans. For some reason, he came back to our table and ended up hanging out with us for over three hours. We talked a lot about the politics of the day and enjoyed him going off in trademark style, but what struck me was how much he wanted to know about who we were and our lives. I'd like to think he enjoyed imparting his wisdom on us as we were in our 20s at the time.
He was exactly as cool, kind and thoughtful as his content would have you believe to two people he had no reason to go out of his way for. It remains far and away the best experience I've ever had with any kind of "famous" person. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.
Matt says he remembers this! Is this the show where he fell asleep onstage? He still feels embarrassed about that
Sure was. Very happy to hear he remembers and no embarrassment is necessary lol. It was a blast! Plus, with each passing day, I become more of a “fall asleep after hitting a blunt” guy so… solidarity with Matt there.
We love who Matt has been and who he is becoming.
Please be kind to your landlord he has generously allowed you to pay his mortgage and is bravely only collecting only a small profit on top of that please show him some respect he is an entrepreneur
Fantastic writing, and an incredibly heartfelt insight into struggles I'm sure a ton of people have asked you about, as you say in the piece. I appreciate this so much as a fan of Matt's who's only liked him more since he met you! Thanks for sharing a bit of your world with us parasocially invested in your husband, and I'm excited to see what you three do next!! :)
"Sometimes he partied like a little kid covering his eyes in a scary movie, so afraid to look that he misses the plot."
This is so fucking real I feel like color entered my B&W life. This rings very true. You try to escape because being present with the pain of our existence is awful and terrifying and lonely at times.
This piece made me cry. I'm so proud of this guy I've never met. He makes me want to keep going when right now in my own life all I feel is despair.
That’s so lovely to hear! Thank you for pointing out that line, I was proud of it. He regularly inspires me to keep going too 💕
Never met Matt but we did celebrate Bernie’s Nevada victory just feet away from one another. Thank you for this piece, Amber. I wish you three many happy days ahead. I wanted to share this nugget of wisdom from the man himself that I transcribed from the pod and which hangs on my wall:
“I think that [love] is recognition... It's recognition and understanding that others are in a very fundamental way, in a felt - not reasoned - way, you. And that there is no pleasure you can take at the expense of another, that doesn't harm you as well, because there is no genuine separation. And so operating out of love means not having to fight really the urge to selfishly hoard enjoyment because you can't actually enjoy it, because you know whose expense it's at and that you feel a need to remedy it because you cannot delude yourself into imagining that there is some enduring separation that can allow you to hoard anything.”
- Matt Christman, November 16, 2022
Loved reading this piece and am so impressed with Matt’s progress. Incredible!
This really resonated with me since my hubs is fresh into a new chronic nerve pain diagnosis. I find myself wishing to go back in time, but it’s a waste of energy. It’s amazing how injury and “chronic” changes really shift your perspective and realign priorities. I’ll be keeping your words at hand- “the best is yet to come” 🙌
I truly believe it! But also, damn this is hard sometimes. Sending you strength
We love Matt's Strokes of Genius over here! The podcasts, vlogs, rants, jokes, explanations, and contemplations have all been very inspirational over the years, but the poems are fantastic! Such a joy to hear!
Several years ago my wife and I were hit by a car while walking on the sidewalk. She suffered a debilitating TBI and aneurism. I can relate to every word of this.
Life moves forward no matter what and it's beautiful.
❤️❤️❤️
Folks the knob was on 8 and she grabbed it and turned it up to 11, oh my god shes still going, the knob, it's BROKEN OFF
Folks, they're saying she has "THE JUICE"
This helps me in my own journey. Thank you sharing about your husband, a hero (not because of the progress, but just bc of who he is)
Really beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing. Have always appreciated Matt's brain in all phases of his life. Being on a similar timeline with anxiety, physical limitations, and fatherhood (2 girls 18 months apart both under 3.5) it's really heartening to see the two of you move through this with such grace. Cheers to progress!
Very amazing stuff, you both have such wonderful minds, Matt once changed my life and the way I think with the vlogs. You are helping me do the same thing again, slowing down not everything I think about has to be so big, so existential. I need to look around, look at the ones I love. Thank you both for being so open. We need more of that we need more honesty and vulnerability from eachother. We need more love. Thank you Amber.
Couldn’t agree more
Very lovely, thank you for your writing.
You were able to capture something about his journey that I did not previously understand. He is such a blessing in this world, and it is a delight to know that each day continues to put that blessing into the world.
The discomfort with a friendly landlord is all too familiar to me as well, given some current circumstances.
landlords. the word itself makes me uncomfortable. it’s inherently gross.